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 Live Long & Strong

a collection of experiences, education, how to's and real-life advice on how to navigate this ever-changing season

Do You Wonder Who You Will Be?

 

I can't help but wonder, who will I be years from now, when my children are the age that I am now.

 

I wonder how I will look, yes. But mainly I wonder how I will walk, how I will stand and move. I wonder how my mind will flow and how I will spend my days.

 

I will not be frail, I’ll tell you that. 

 

And I will not be taking 15 pills a day. 

 

I will not depend on others to care for me.

 

No way.

 

I plan to be strong, in body and mind. 

 

I plan to spend long days in the garden, hours walking hiking trails, weekends sitting in my camping chair with my husband by the river. 

 

I want to bounce my grandchildren on one hip while I stir soup and slice fruit. I want to host all of the holidays. I want our living room to always feel cozy and safe, our back deck magical with a soft breeze and twinkle lights.

 

I want to wear whatever the hell I want, to smile big and laugh bigger.

 

I love both of my children with a frightening fierceness.

 

 And I can’t help but wonder, who I will be when  my children are the age that I am now?…

 

When my daughter is 41 and my son is 43, I’ll be 75.

 75 years. 75 years of adventure and heartbreak and strength and resilience and starting over and learning to pivot. 75 years of wind and warm sun and cools sheets and evenings on the deck.

Who do I want to be, at 75 years old?

 

Because I can only assume that my son and my daughter will need me, even then.

 

And I know that I can’t do the things that I dream of  when I’m 75, if I let my bones grow weak and my muscles waste.

 

There are a million uncontrollables.

 

And there are also a million things that we can control: exercise and food and sleep and medications and supplements.

 

We can absolutely refuse to grow old and frail, and instead grow old and strong and wise. Older and more powerful and intuitive and passionate.

 

All of these things are what I think of when I watch my daughter build a fairy house in the backyard mud, when I watch my run across the soccer field and flip his blonde hair out of his eyes. Because I know it is all possible, for all of us. And it starts now.